Honestly, I have my doubts, my ups and downs, good and bad. But in all honesty, I just don't want him to become just like every other guy from my past. He has his moments but then turns around and does something (when he thinks I'm not paying attention) that makes me doubt him.
Definitely going to take things SLOW this time.
Well yeah, that was really all I needed to say at this time. Time to go to class though, more later (maybe) :)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
New year...New me....or not...
Well. I haven't posted on this thing in almost a year, so I figured a bad day (a bad Monday nonetheless) called for a blog post since I have no one else to talk to right now.
So a new school year started for me just last Wednesday and I have already dropped one class, because I felt wayy to overwhelmed (bringing me from 16 hours down to 13 hours) and I still fell overwhelmed to this day. :/ I know that things will get better throughout time but that still doesn't keep me from stressing about it now. I have yet to make any new friends and the friends I talked to last year haven't really bothered to get ahold of me to hang out, what sucks is that I don't really know anyone in any of my classes, except for one girl who I KIND OF know but I don't really know. I feel like I am going at this college thing by myself. Maybe it's because I don't really want to live in Texas or maybe there's just something about me that keeps other people from trying to get to know me.
I try and I try and I tell myself that things will be different but nothing ever changes, even when I try to make them different. And I know that I can only change things about myself if I want to because nobody can make the changes for me, but it's hard. I grew up alone, the baby of the family, the outcast, the loner, no friends, completely alone. And it still feels that way. My best friends are either off in the NAVY or working 24/7 or off at college far away, it just feels like I'm completely alone, cut off from everyone. God, not even online do I have any friends. And I think that really says something. Whether it says something about me or if it says something about other people, I don't think I will ever know...
For once, my love life is doing better than my school life. It's surprising what kind of things can happen when you don't expect them to.
I just wish I knew what I wanted.
te voir (see ya, in French)
So a new school year started for me just last Wednesday and I have already dropped one class, because I felt wayy to overwhelmed (bringing me from 16 hours down to 13 hours) and I still fell overwhelmed to this day. :/ I know that things will get better throughout time but that still doesn't keep me from stressing about it now. I have yet to make any new friends and the friends I talked to last year haven't really bothered to get ahold of me to hang out, what sucks is that I don't really know anyone in any of my classes, except for one girl who I KIND OF know but I don't really know. I feel like I am going at this college thing by myself. Maybe it's because I don't really want to live in Texas or maybe there's just something about me that keeps other people from trying to get to know me.
I try and I try and I tell myself that things will be different but nothing ever changes, even when I try to make them different. And I know that I can only change things about myself if I want to because nobody can make the changes for me, but it's hard. I grew up alone, the baby of the family, the outcast, the loner, no friends, completely alone. And it still feels that way. My best friends are either off in the NAVY or working 24/7 or off at college far away, it just feels like I'm completely alone, cut off from everyone. God, not even online do I have any friends. And I think that really says something. Whether it says something about me or if it says something about other people, I don't think I will ever know...
For once, my love life is doing better than my school life. It's surprising what kind of things can happen when you don't expect them to.
I just wish I knew what I wanted.
te voir (see ya, in French)
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